Modern day miracle

So after all the deep thoughts lately, I figure it’s time to share a pretty BIG sweet moment.

How long has it’s been since you’ve seen a miracle?  Because I had never seen one.  I honestly didn’t fully believe that they were possible until a few weeks ago.  It all started when my mom decided to have a surgery that she had been putting off for a while – bladder sling surgery.  In her initial appointment, she was told that her prognosis was great – that the result would be a better functioning bladder and an all-round more comfortable life because of it.  Unfortunately, during her pre-op appointment, the prognosis was completely shifted when mom was told that the multiple sclerosis which she had endured for so long had apparently been attacking her bladder unbeknownst to her and had caused permanent damage.  The doctor informed her that she would need to use a catheter for the remainder of her life as her bladder would no longer fully function on its own.  Needless to say, mom was stunned, but she didn’t have time to soak in the details to the point of letting her emotions go.  She had just a few short hours to decide whether to have a catheter put it permanently or having a temporary one.  She ended up having a permanent catheter put in at the same time she had the sling surgery.

While it was an obviously tough decision, mom never once let the dark cloud of negativity or doom and gloom suck her in.  Her attitude was: “There are tons of people out there with way worse problems than this.”  What an amazing woman she is and what amazing faith she has.  She’s always so positive, so encouraging, so faithful.

For two weeks, she had to keep track of her “movements” and the day before her post-op appointment, I talked to her and she told me she thought that her bladder had been doing pretty well on its own and that she might get to have the catheter removed.  My instant reaction was to warn her not to get her hopes up.  While I believed that ALL things are possible through Him, I hadn’t SEEN such miracles….ever.  And even though I wanted to believe that my mom was healed, I remembered the pain, disappointment and anger that I felt back in 1996 when she lost her vision to MS.  I thought about all the times we asked Him to heal her and He didn’t.  So when mom was talking about the possibility of an actual healing, I admit that I doubted – Thomas style.

When mom went in for her post-op with the doctor, he looked at the “movement” measurements that mom had been keeping for those 2 weeks and looked at mom and told her that the measurement were so good that he didn’t think she needed the catheter anymore!  PTL!  The minute those words came out of her mouth, tears filled me eyes.  I couldn’t believe it, but regardless of how surreal it felt, the reality was that mom was healed!!  He is still in the healing business!

A friend asked me just today if this experience had changed my faith – if I still had the doubt caused by years of prayer for mom’s healing with seemingly, no answer.  If I’m being honest, the truth is that my faith has changed but not to the point of absolute faith with no shades of doubt.  I think the change for me is truly KNOWING that ALL things ARE possible and that that idea is not just some verse that we learn in VBS.  Now, when I’m praying, it’s like a light at the end of the tunnel and the tunnel doesn’t seem as long and neverending as it did before.

So be encouraged!  He is still working, still healing, and still listening.  🙂

From yellowed pearl to a precious jewel

I have so many different topics swirling around in my brain, so I’m going to write a few different posts.  Stay tuned!

Let’s start with a topic from the land I love which is near to my heart…single women over the age of 27.  In the land I love, we (and I say we since I am 35) single women over the age of 27 are known as “leftovers.”  True story.  This is the nickname given to women who are, in general, college educated/career women who have forgone marriage to achieve their academic/career goals or who have simply not found their “Mr. Right” yet.  I even read an article recently that went so far as to say that we “leftover” women actually lose our worth as we age and by the time we achieve our life goals, we are like yellowed pearls.

Really?  So, what you’re telling me is that if I’m unmarried, I have no worth?  This is unacceptable, but yet, this is the type of staunched thinking that my friends and students there face every day from family and friends who continuously hound them about their singleness.  They are relentless in their teasing and will not stop until these young beautiful educated women give up their ambitions to satisfy the desires of their family.  It usually results in a quick courtship with a man who meets the surface qualifications (i.e. has a stable job, a home, and can provide for her material needs).  For these “leftover” women, romantic notions are but a dream and such fantasies are not a possibility because the clock is ticking and there is no longer time to wait on something that probably doesn’t truly exist.  They must marry as soon as possible so that their family does not “lose face.”

I’ve found myself having the same conversation with my fellow “yellow pearls” more times than I can count and that conversation usually consists of me listening to them pour their hearts out to me and crying because they are being forced to find a husband and stop pursuing their dreams.  They must give up their heart’s desires to appease their family’s desires.  But what I want to say to each and every one of them and that I must say to myself, as well, comes from Matt. 13:45-46: “Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls, who, on finding one pearl of great value, went and sold all that he had and bought it.” THIS is what the Father thinks of us, my fellow pearls.  We are not yellowed.  We are NOT worthless.  According to Ps 139, we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” or as one lady so eloquently put it, “The Father don’t make no junk.”

So, when I return to the land I love, please keep me in your minds as I struggle to teach my fellow pearls of worth that they do have worth, they are loved by the Father and that He has a wonderful plan for their life.  Join me in lifting up thoughts for these young women to discover their worth as His precious jewels.

Right on time

In the six short years that I’ve been in the Covie Fam, I’ve gotten to meet a lot of awesome people that I now consider life-long friends.   This month, I got the chance to get to know some LTMs that I had never had the opportunity to meet just simply because our paths haven’t crossed living on different continents.  I was a little unsure as to how they would react to me being “the new kid on the block” but as the case has been so many times with this amazing Family, they welcomed me with open arms and I believe that I now have more life-long friends and amazing colleagues.   I am blessed to be a part of this Family.

One night in Chicago, we met with retired LTMs, which is always an eye opening experience to realize how easy we have it these days with Skype, facebook, and other technology compared to how they had it back in the day.  Towards the end of the evening, some of us were asked to share the latest happenings from our lands and I was actually sitting at the back of the room hoping that I wouldn’t be called on to share.  I had no idea what I would say!  I thought, “I’ve been in America for 2 years.  The school has been closed.  Nothing is happening.  I’m not even sure when I’ll be returning for certain….please don’t call on me, please don’t call on me….”  As I sat there feeling the anxiety building about what I could possibly say, my phone buzzed with a text message.  It was a picture from one of the teens I met at the camp in VA in June.  She sent a picture of a crayon with the words, “Made in (the land I love)” on it and texted, “Praying for you.”  (This is something I ask everyone I speak to about the land I love to do when they see one of those “Made in” tags.)  Wow!  How cool was that?  My heart just burst with joy and amazement because Dad’s timing is always right on time.   So, when my name was called soon thereafter, I had the confidence I needed and the words somehow just flowed together.  Now if I could just remember this the next time I’m anxious about His timing.  Oh, what a slow learner I am.

Above:  Some Magnum bar time with Heather in Chicago

(reminiscent of our time in the land I love)

Summertime and monkey wrenches

I’ve been on the road quite a bit over the past month and every minute of it has been special in its own way.  It all started at the end of June with Annual Meeting where I was “sent out” by the Family.  It was touching, intimate, and beautiful all at once.  I dearly love my Covie Family and am so blessed to have had them there to surround me and send me out with love, affirmation and encouragement.

Above:  Debbie Blue and I post Send Out              Above:  My Chinese Family, Mama and Papa Du (better known as Dave and Judy)

Soon thereafter, in July, my travels took me to Virginia for camp.  This was my first time to drive across country by myself and although I’ve been to the other side of the world and back by myself, for some reason, I did have a bit of hesitation about taking this trip alone.  My hesitation turned out to just be a little bit of nerves and the trip went off without a hitch!  I broke my trip into two days driving stopping the first night in Memphis for some EXCELLENT ribs at the world famous Rendezvous followed by some good ole’ Memphis blues.  Less than 5 minutes after sitting down in the restaurant, these delicious morsels were sitting in front of me begging to be eaten.  So.  good.

I then continued onward to Virginia where I spent the entire next week literally in “the holler” and off the grid.  No cell phone bars meant time to focus on me and my Father.  It also meant that I got the chance to spend more personal time with kids.  One thing through a small monkey wrench in my time and that was strep throat which I started getting on Tuesday and by that night, I was in some major discomfort.  Fortunately, there happened to be some antibiotic lying around and I was able to start taking it that evening and by Thursday, Miss Christy was back in full effect!  🙂  Camp was awesome because I got to see how many young kids are growing leaps and bounds beyond where I was spiritually at their age!  It was truly jaw dropping to hear the vocabulary and phrases they were using to describe their vision and walks with the Father.  I’m in awe of how He is raising up such a strong believing young generation!  Despite the strep, I was blessed to be able to bond with several of these young passionate kids and share some personal stories and hopefully a little wisdom with them.  What a blessing and how awesome the Father is that He could still use us despite monkey wrenches.

Above:  Now I understand the term “Smoky        Above:  This is Virginia around CMMBC – absolute beauty.

   Mountains.”

The last part of my trip involved a two night stop in Nashville for some boot scootin’ kind of country music and a little walk through history at the Grand Ole Opry.  As a Texas raised girl, I know my country music pretty well and have been raised on it.  It flows through my veins and is part of my country-fried personality.  🙂  Standing on the original wood of the Opry gave me a little chill…thinking about Patsy Cline standing there or Garth Brooks, Brad Paisley, Loretta Lynn…the list goes on and on.  It was an experience I will never forget.  When the tour guide asked if anyone wanted to sing on the stage, I briefly considered it in my head but decided that I wasn’t anywhere near the caliber I would need to be to live up to that center stage.  Still- amazing just to stand there and soak it in.

So, now, I’m back home until August 3rd when I’ll leave to head for Chicago through the 11th.  After that, who knows where the wind will take me!  

Until next time….

Father knows best

Over the past year, I’ve been from hither to yon sharing about OTC and raising funds to return to my second home.  As I sit here today, halfway to my goal and just a few months from the designated departure date, I can’t help but feel a few different emotions stirring around inside me.  On the one hand, the pressure and stress of knowing that I’m not where I need to be in the budget department weighs heavily on my mind daily and yet, on the other hand, I have had my eyes opened recently to all the amazing blessings in my life, so there is also joy in my heart.

During this last year and a half in the States, it’s been quite the rollercoaster ride of emotions from the lows of unpacking that emotional baggage that I’ve referred to in an earlier blog posting to the highs of the Father swinging wide open the windows of Heaven and pouring out blessings on my life.  One such example is my car.  You see, my transmission has been having issues since January, so I haven’t been able to leave town in my car since Christmas for fear of breaking down on the side of the road.  Both mechanics recommended a whole new transmission which just wasn’t in my budget, so I’ve continued to drive the car and have asked for prayer for this situation for months.  Just when it seemed like getting the car fixed was impossible, we had a massive hail storm roll into town.  Now, this was not the answer I had in mind, but it was a solution nonetheless.

As I sat there waiting for the insurance guy to finish the inspection, I was silently praying, “Please let it be just enough to fix the transmission.”  As it turns out, the car was totaled by the hail, so it’ll be more than enough to fix the car.  I don’t think I could ever have imagined I’d be praising Him for hail!  As I drove away from the insurance inspection, I couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably because there was such relief that I can at long last get the transmission fixed and travel once again.  The first thing my mom said was, “You should’ve known better than to limit God.”  She was exactly right.  All these months, I’ve been trying to find any way possible to “fix” this problem and have worried so much about it that I’m shocked every hair on my head hasn’t turned gray!  The whole time, He was waiting for me to trust Him to provide for all of my needs and then some.

Isn’t that the case so many times in our lives?  We’re down here worrying about every detail and trying to formulate a plan to solve our problems while He is there with the answer all along just waiting for us to turn to Him and trust Him completely.  It’s a great reminder for me that the Father knows best.

 

Jars of clay

“We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves.” — 2 Corinthians 4:7 (NLT)

This scripture popped into my mind recently as I was thinking about a couple of recent conversations I’ve had with my single girl friends.  I’m gonna let you into the secret world of the young single adult woman’s mind…we may come across like we’ve got it all together on the outside, but I’ve discovered that no matter what the package is on the outside, if we’re single and in our late 20s, 30s, or older, we ALL think:  “What’s wrong with me?  Why am I not married yet?  Why are all my friends married with kids and I’m not?  I thought I would’ve been married long ago.  Am I not pretty enough?  I must not be because no guys are pounding at my door.”  And then it came to me, “I’ve been getting my self worth from whether or not men think I’m pretty.”

Now, I realize this all sounds crazy when I say it out loud, but after talking with several of my girl friends, I’ve come to realize, this type of toxic thinking is rampant and I was greatly disturbed and angered when I realized that every single one of us single women have fallen prey to these outright LIES of the devil!

This brings me to the clay pot scripture.  It says that we are “like FRAGILE clay jars containing this great TREASURE.”  The self esteem and self concept of the single woman is as fragile as the clay pots Paul was referring to in 2 Corinthians.  I’m filled with sadness, brokenness and a righteous anger when I look inside myself and around me and see how much brokenness there is because the devil has pulled the wool over our eyes and caused us to believe that we are worth nothing without the attention of a man.  But hope is not gone.  We have hope in Christ and we are not useless or worthless as singles.  Even the cracked pot serves a great purpose.  (see The Cracked Water Jar below)

The Cracked Water Jar

Once upon a time in India, there was a servant who had to fetch
the water for his master from the well every day. To do this he had
two large jars, which he hung one from each end of a pole
which he carried across his neck. They were heavy and it was
a long walk to the well but the servant had a good master
and he didn’t mind the walk or the work at all.

Both of the water jars looked exactly the same but, if you looked
very carefully you could see that there was a tiny crack in one jar.
And so on the way back from the well – drip, drip, drip –
the water would gradually leak out of that jar and splash
on to the side on the path.

The poor cracked jar was very sad that it only succeeded in bringing
half the amount of water home each day that perfect jar did.
After two years the jar plucked up courage
to tell the servant how it felt and to apologize.

“Why should you feel like that?”, said the servant,
” I knew all about that little crack – in fact I made use of it.”
“How could you do that?” asked the jar eagerly.
“Just look around you”, replied the servant
” Do you see the flowers growing by the side of the path?”

And the jar looked and there certainly were beautiful flowers
growing all along the way.
“Do you notice anything strange? Do you see where they are growing?”
“Why, they only grow on one side of the path,”
said the surprised water jar.
“That’s because I knew you leaked and so I sowed some flower seeds
along your side of the path. For two years now I’ve been able to pick
fresh flowers every day to decorate my master’s table.
And I couldn’t have done that if you hadn’t watered them through
that little crack. So, you see, I like you just the way you are.
You are a very special water jar!”

And that is exactly the way it is with God for He loves us
just the way we are – and can even make good use of some of the things that are wrong with us.
Nothing goes to waste with God
and every one of us is special to Him.

Even though that cracked jar thought it was failing in its purpose to carry water, it was actually fulfilling a completely different purpose – to bring beauty to God’s creation by watering the flowers along the side of the road.  We usually don’t see the bigger picture that He sees because we are so caught up in what we see as our inadequacies.  It’s time to stop the insanity!  (to borrow a line from Susan Powter back in the day)

To my single girl friends out there…you are beautiful, loved, and God has a plan for each one of you.  STOP trying to fill your jar with the things of this world and STOP letting the devil win by lying to you about who you are.  You are God’s and to borrow another phrase, “God doesn’t make no junk.”  And yes, I’m saying this to myself as well!

Until next time…

All in the Family

I recently returned from a two week trip to California where I spent time in the Bay City Area with my good friend, Lynda, and her family for about five days.  This trip has been on my bucket list for quite a while and Lynda and her family did not disappoint.  We took a trip to Alcatraz which was really interesting with all of the pictures of infamous prisoners like Al Capone, diagrams of the historic prison break, an audio tour that included voices of former prisoners and guards, an Al Capone expert who told the crowd all sorts of details about Capone that I had never heard before, a view of the Golden Gate bridge from atop The Rock, and surprisingly lush vegetation surrounding the grounds.  Ever since I saw the episode of Unsolved Mysteries back in the 80’s that highlighted the daring escape, I had wanted to go there.  Bucket list event #1 – check.

Another first, which I have to say was not on my bucket list, was a mud-bath at Indian Springs Spa in Napa Valley.  While the mud-bath was not on my list, had I known about this Spa, it would have certainly made the list!  Breathtakingly beautiful scenery surrounded a giant steaming mineral pool which we melted into after our mud-bath   With palm trees swaying above us and the gorgeous blue sky welcoming us, I started to understand the draw of being a California girl.  Bucket list addition – Indian Springs Spa – check.

The list of things we did those short five days doesn’t end there, but I’ll stop before I lose my readers to pangs of jealousy.  🙂

While marking things off a bucket list is fine, the greatest part of this trip was reuniting with my China friends, Lynda, Jim, Susan, Dennis, and Leon.  The reunion only got bigger in San Diego when I got to see practically the entire former OTC staff.  One night we all went to dinner together and there were 20 people at the table!  It was awesome to sit and talk about…you guessed it…China.  I love every one of those people and we have a special bond in our love of China.

In addition to the OTC reunion, there was also a whole lot of ECC personnel, leaders, and other Covies.  It seemed like every time the elevator doors opened or I walked around a corner there was a familiar face.

These two groups of people, OTC and ECC, have given me a sense of family that I hadn’t experienced before and yet I feel like I’ve been a part of this family my whole life.  Thank you, family members who are reading this.  (you know who you are)  Thank you for affirming, encouraging, supporting, and challenging me in the Vision for my life.  I’m blessed beyond words.

Until next time….

Unpacking baggage

When I first came back from China in 2011, the reverse culture shock/transition process was so burdensome that I couldn’t foresee ever feeling “normal” again.  And to some extent, I still feel abnormal.  But I’ve been changed and I’m glad about that.  Now that it’s been over a year, (geesh!) I can look back and trace God’s footprints in the entire situation.

As many of you know, I have been seeing a counselor for almost a year and when I first went to her, she asked me what it was that I wanted to gain from my time with her.  My response?  Freedom.  Little did I know that God had just been waiting for me to finally say that out loud.  He soon swung open the floodgates to an immense amount of emotional baggage that I had never unpacked or even peeked inside of.  Not only that, but it has seemed like every time I pull one thing out of the pile of emotional baggage, a new one pops up.  It reminds me of that old corny magic trick where the magician pulls a loooooong line of different colored handkerchiefs out of his pocket.  Well, I’m still not to the bottom of the pile, but I feel a lot closer than I think I have ever been.

One of the biggest praises to come out of this healing time has been the restoration of my relationship with my brother.  For about four years, we had no relationship- the result of a variety of reasons.  I honestly couldn’t imagine how God could heal this broken relationship. But God is bigger than every pile of emotional baggage and every problem inside of that baggage!  With the help of a counselor, my brother and I slowly weeded our way through past issues and at last, I could see a light at the end of the tunnel.  God had brought us both to a place where we were ready to put in the necessary work (Because let’s face it- it is definitely work!) to get to a place of healing.  It is a true testament to the power of God where our relationship is today.  Thank you, Lord, for healing us both and bringing my big brother and his family back to me.

Without divulging too much information, I will say that this was just one bag that I’ve sorted through in this time but I know there are more.  But with the freedom He has blessed me with, I can certainly see now why He brought me back here when He did.  He knew my every need when He closed OTC and brought me back here kicking and screaming (metaphorically speaking, of course).  My hope is that by the time I return to China, the only baggage I’ll be taking is the kind filled with clothes and plenty of deodorant.  (Joke for all my China peeps since there is NO deodorant in China)

Thanks you for your continued prayer support.  As you’ve read, it’s gone from your lips to God’s ears!

Until next time….

Ain’t no mountain high enough

I’ve spent the last week and a half in Chicago going through the interview process for Long Term service.  Through the personality assessments, time with new friends at their church, and lots of time having to talk about myself, I’ve been reminded of just how far I have to go before I can be anywhere near the woman God intends me to be.  We are all works in progress, right?  Right now, I feel as though there should be orange hazard cones around me.  lol  Just to share a little bit of what I’m referring to- getting healthy is key:  mentally, emotionally, spiritually and yes, physically healthy.  The last one is my Mount Fuji it seems.  It is the Goliath to my David.  But I have to think POSITIVELY.  I must believe that I can do it- that I CAN have willpower, discipline, and the desire to be physically healthy once and for all.  Through Him all things are possible and “ain’t no mountain high enough” to keep me from getting to Him.

This brings me to the mental/emotional work that I must do.  Like the majority of the female population out there, my mirror is my arch enemy most of the time.  I struggle to see myself as beautifully and wonderfully made as the Word says I am.  This, too, is a Goliath in my life.  I covet your prayers as I trudge up these mountains in the coming months.  I believe that I will make it to the top of the mountain.  It  may take months or it may take years, but with His strength, I will make it.  I long for the freedom that I know is possible but has eluded me for so long.   Thank you for your thoughts on this.

Now that I’ve shared some SOUR things (that will eventually bring SWEETness), let me share the SWEETEST things from my trip!  I had my two very important interviews for Long Term service and……drum roll, please……

I have been affirmed and they are going to recommend me to the Board!  WHOOHOO!!!

This puts me two steps closer to officially being Long Term.  I will return to Chicago in March for my final interview.  Thank you all SO MUCH for your positive thoughts, words of encouragement, and especially your prayers throughout these interviews!  I ask for your continued prayers as I make the suggested corrections to my paper and as I prepare for the next step in this process.

Until next time, friends…..

A new phase

Now that all of my travels have settled down for a little while, I’m beginning a new phase in my life in America.  There are a few ideas and goals that I have for this phase.  One of my ideas is to start up a foreign college student ministry.  What I have in mind is to find about 6 Americans who would be willing to open up their home once a month to invite the students to play games, watch a movie, have conversation groups, etc.  This would allow us the chance to build relationships.  Sound familiar?  🙂  If I can find 6 such people, my next step will be to talk with some young foreigners that I already know and see if we can get a group together.  If YOU live in OKC and would be interested in hosting a group or participating with us, we could really use your help.  Let me know if you’re interested.  You can contact me through this blog, facebook, phone, email, or smoke signal.  🙂

Since I will be having a lot of extra time on my hands in between traveling, speaking, and the like, I’m contemplating substitute teaching.  Because I have seen first hand the path of destruction that can be left by a substitute, it does make me a bit leery, so it’s going to roll around in my head a bit longer before I make a final decision.  I also know that I like to have discipline in my classroom and being a sub means that having discipline is probably not very realistic.  At least not unless I can earn a reputation in a particular school system after subbing a while.  However, I also know that I MISS TEACHING!  Please think on this possibility for me to he right choice.

A goal that I’m once again for the billionth time in my life is to live a healthy lifestyle (i.e. eat healthy, exercise, and think positively).  I’m just putting this out there…I don’t have the best track record in this area.  Throughout my entire life, my weight has been my biggest struggle.  I can count on one hand the number of times in my life that I have felt at ease in my own body and with my body.  This is a major obstacle for me to overcome.  It’s a canyon really.  I want to defeat this stinkin’ thinkin’ and MOVE ON.  Again, please lift this one up as I can use all the positive thoughts I can get!  Thank you all for being my cheerleaders and urging me onward!

Until next time folks….

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